07 November 2011
"What do YOU want?"
anyone who knows me understands my love for talking. but when asked this question, i was rendered speechless. mostly because i realized in that moment that no had ever asked me that question. of course at Christmas, my birthday and at drive thru's, but no man showing interest in me has ever asked about my wants. the even sadder part of the dialogue was that i had no answer, i was clueless as to what i wanted.
lately i have been having conversations via Twitter about lists that people have made regarding their wants in an ideal mate. i have never made one of those lists after watching Kamillah on "The Real World Boston" showcase her list of about 150 requirements for a mate. i found the idea absolutely ridiculous. in an effort to buck the system that was swarming around me, i never created a list, not in a diary and not even in my head. i was being liberal in thought, willing to accept people for who they were or at least who they presented themselves to be. but because i had no set list of what i wanted, i was just dipping my toe is all sorts of different ponds. well now this late in the game, i decided to create a list. (this list is not for public consumption)
my newly created list is based on things that i have encountered that i did not enjoy, instead of the immature things i wished for in high school. i think i was the only girl at 16 who shunned dudes her own age because they didn't have cars and jobs. D'oh! and at that time, it made perfect sense to me. oh i forgot to mention they also had to be over six feet tall. Al B.Sure fit all of my requirements, so he was who I was shooting for. this new list of wants strays away from the physical and material and mainly focuses on the character and beliefs of the man.
i'm not in the business of giving men road maps to me, but i now have a clear view of what i want. and i think that i deserve what i want moving forward in life. if you don't have what you want, what is the purpose?