i feel like a disclaimer is in order because some of my closest friends are Kappas and Criminals. no disrespect to your affiliation, but this blog is about my dating life and for some reason Kappas and Criminals dominate that arena. yeah i know what everybody is saying..look at yourself, examine the people you surround yourself with, blah, blah, blah. i am a woman who grew up in a suburban area with a mother and father and a close knit family and the only time i spent in the projects was during my family trips to Brooklyn. i consider myself very versatile, a chameleon that can adapt to any environment. that is just background information to distract you from the notion that most women like bad boys, even subconsciously. i never sought them out but they seem to gravitate toward me. let's talk about where it all began.
when i was 14 yrs old, i had a crush on Randy Rand (not Cherrelle's husband) an 18 yr old who lived in a neighboring state (DON'T JUDGE ME ERIKA). he didn't like me, but i think he got a kick out of a young girl longing for him. my crush faded over time and i saw him sporadically over the next few years. then i got news that Randy Rand was being sent up the river for a crime that i believe was linked to a rock substance that some people smoke. i felt sorry for him so i decided to write him, send some photos, tell him what was happening in my world. it was all innocent (so i thought) until his letters started saying he was talking to people about ME in the prison. *side eye* he was the homie and i wasn't interested in dating former felons. when he got out, i saw him briefly. he thanked me for the letters and he faded into Bolivia (c) Mike Tyson. that wasn't a relationship by any means, but after that situation every dude i met had a record of sorts. for example:
1. Antonio The Dope Boy: i used to be in love with Larry Johnson (don't judge me) and this guy was his twin. that was the initial attraction, but i should've known from the company he kept that incarceration was in his future. shortly after he threatened to come to my home and slap the sh*t out of me, he was sent to the clink. i received word when i was away at college that he was getting out and was looking for me. ummmm no sir, that thing is dead and in the ground.
2. Porky Pig with a gold tooth: that was how my mom described this dude. he was from a questionable side of town and seemed to have lots of money for an unemployed high school graduate. he was the first guy i kissed and thus became my first love. of course this relationship didn't last long, but we remained friends. last time i spoke with him, he talked about changing his life for his newborn son. six months later he died from gunshot wounds he received while trying to break up a fight.
3. J*** The college thug: in college i had a crush on everybody (again DO NOT JUDGE ME) and this guy was one of them. he seemed like a nice enough guy, he was cool and we got along. i heard talk of him being a little rough around the edges, but this was college and those type of people weren't in college (my dumb ass). one day he showed me who he was when he pulled a knife on me so he could get my umbrella; i just bought another one.
those are just a few examples of the guys i met and i could fill this blog with plenty more, but i can't neglect those pretty boys of Kappa Alpha Psi.
when i went off to college, i knew what a Kappa was but i didn't know any Kappas. it didn't matter either way, my heart already belonged to some unsuspecting Que that i hadn't met yet. (LOL) anyone who knows me from my undergraduate adventures knows that i had a very special friendship with a certain Kappa. thanks to him, it was downhill from there. don't get me wrong, i have loads of Kappa friends that i love dearly. but my plight with their frat brothers reached such epic proportions, that i don't date Kappas any longer. i never want to generalize a group of people but these dudes that i encountered rendered me speechless and that is a VERY hard task. let's talk about 'em...
1. Corey the Man of God Kappa - when i met him, i was very clear on my stance about Kappas. he decided it was best to hide the fact that he was a Kappa, hoping that his charming personality would win me over despite affiliation. in an effort to be fair, i agreed to go out with him and see what he was about. you can read about that date here. he was a nice guy but the whole "we were meant to be together" thing on the 1st date threw me off. he asked me to go to church with him and then cussed me out because i just wanted to be friends. the man of God then proceeded to wish me bad luck and hoped that i would never find what i was looking for. REALLY??!!! and then he found my mother at her job and inquired about what he could do to get back in my good graces. do i need to continue? i should've just stuck to my guns.
2. Ward the drunk Nupe - i was new to Atlanta and i was out meeting plenty of men, but i somehow met Ward online. he was a big country boy from Alabama, just like i liked. we talked all the time and when he traveled out of town for his job, he always called. but when he called he was drunk...out of his mind drunk. we all know our limits when we drink but Ward felt like he could take a bit more. when i said he was big, he was 6'2" & 265 lbs, former football playing, working out 4 days a week, protein shake drinking big. so just imagine how much liquor he had to ingest to black out at IHOP and not know how he got home. i asked about his drinking, he said he liked the taste. the red flags were flying high, but i wasn't done with him until he gave me an ultimatum. my choices were to be with him or get out of his life. after a weekend of thought, i told Ward that i was ready to do take the plunge and i was promptly told i was too late and that he had a girlfriend. what on God's green earth??? i was only gone 2....wait, A GIRLFRIEND??!!! *womp, womp, womp*
3. the Kappa that shall not be named(KTSNBN) - he was featured in my community dick blog. this dude was the Kappa that took the cake. a messy, petty, childish sex hound preying on unsuspecting women. KTSNBN was so despicable that after being with me he asked to be hooked up with my friend. when i refused, he told me i was a hater. if that wasn't enough to add insult to injury, KTSNBN attempted on several occasions to get at my little sister. i actually had to step outside of myself and threaten his life if my name ever left his lips or entered his mind. yeah I stepped into psycho, but after that he vanished from my world. it was for the best.
again, i could go on about the Kappas; tell you about the one that told me i looked like a freak (his idea of a compliment), but you get the picture. i was forced to look hard at myself and see why the crazies loved on me so hard. it's all Judy's fault. my mother gave me her blessing and curse; i'm approachable. i like to talk and i smile when i go out. i do not scowl to turn people off, i don't have an attitude, and i'm not rude. if a man says hello, i respond. if he wants to hold a conversation, i will do that with him. that doesn't mean i am interested, but i enjoy meeting new people. so when you are open in that way, you invite a lot of things/people into your world. i have no plans on becoming some frowny, bitchy, stank attitude woman anytime soon. so i guess i will continue to fend off the Kappas and the Criminals.